You know that feeling when you really want to check off your to-do list but your body or life says, nope - not today, not now?
It hurts, doesn't it? So frustrating. And so easy to blame yourself for why...
You couldn't finish the project.
You couldn't stick to the lifestyle wellness (weight loss) plan.
You couldn't finish the run/gym workout/yoga session/hike you wanted to.
You didn't/haven't/couldn't reach the point in your career (promotion, raise, validation) or a relationship that you were hoping to by this time in life.
Coming home from a recent backpacking trip, I'm feeling ALL those feels!
This week's Savor Food and Body Adventure was all about finding self-compassion during times of stress and anxiety.
I was so excited to finally get to climb/hike one of our local peaks that I've been dying to try for a handful of years now. I knew it was going to be challenging mentally and physically. So, we decided to do it as an overnight camping trip.
We arrived at camp just in time for the perfect late afternoon light on the colorful mountains (see pics @alpinenutrition on Instagram). We had the perfect camp spot alongside a creek right below the peak we planned on climbing (it's a walk-up, no technical gear required).
The next morning, we got up, had a leisurely breakfast watching the sun come up on the mountains, and were ready to hit the trail. As we started up the peak, around the halfway point, just as the trail was getting more loose-rocky and steep, I could feel this tinge of anxiety creeping into my mind.
You know, the thoughts of "what if I fall off this mountain, what if I break something, who will take care of the kids, the husband, the dog, the job, the house...LIFE!"
It's a fairly new thing for me, these tinges of anxiety (thanks perimenopause!), and I'm not a fan. If you experience anxiety on any level, my heart goes out to you!
No matter how much I tried to reassure myself that I was fine, the anxious hamsters in my brain wouldn't quit. I had to make the decision that today was not the day.
I sat down, looking up at the summit, and felt defeated and frustrated that I let my emotions run the show. Typical. Isn't that what we're taught, especially as women? "Don't be so emotional!"
I recently heard a meditation teacher say that the more we push back against our emotions, the stronger they become. And that if we can give ourselves space to feel them instead and reflect on the story behind them, we're less likely to get completely swept away by them.
Hun? Something to think about. And definitely a work in progress for me.
I'm also learning this in the book Burnout by Emily Nagoski and her sister Amelia Nagoski (fabulous on Audible!)
As I climbed back down the steep, loose-rocky, no-trail to flatter ground I reminded myself that it's ok to not always reach the summit of mountains or trails we set out to climb (or get that very important thing on your to-do list checked off).
That it's ok to listen to your body and nervous system and stop running on auto-pilot when you need to.
That the mountains (or whatever you're trying to accomplish on your to-do list) will welcome you back when you're ready to be there body, mind, and spirit.
If you've experienced a similar to-do-list-not-getting-done frustration recently, hit reply I'd love to hear about it! Let's move through the feels together!
Give yourself a break this week. Take good care of yourself savoring food and body.
If you're struggling with to-do-list overwhelm and you're a middle-aged woman learning how to ride the emotional tides of perimenopause, get on the Alpine Nutrition newsletter email list.
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